DavenedByDeKoisel

Beggars can't be Choosers or A Sign of the Times

2009-03-12T19:45:00.002-04:00

This Purim, business for the collectors was not what it's been in recent years. Everyone I spoke to noticed a dropoff in Tzedaka collecting activity and proceeds. The proof was in the puddng for me when I went to visit a certain Rabbi,who told me the following with a twinkle in his eye. You know, he says, every year the guys come in the stretch limos and collect by the "Big Shots" and they leave me in peace. This year, he says, all of a sudden "bin ich gevoren a gvir" (I became a rich man). The guys came upstairs singing and dancing for a few Kopeks. Nuu, whooda thunk it ???

Where has the Mentschlichkeit gone ?

2009-02-16T00:33:00.006-05:00

This past Motzei Shabbos, I had the occasion to be in Boro Park and decided to go to Amnon's on 13th Avenue. Now, for those who haven't had the unique joy of driving thru the area lets say on a Monday morning, there's nothing like getting stuck in a traffic jam 3 blocks long on 15th Avenue, only to find out that it's being caused by Moishie double parking in front of Korns Bakery for some fresh rye bread while Chezkie decided to double park directly accross the street from him to buy his rye bread as well.

Getting back to Sat nite, I parked on the corner of 48th Street and 13th Avenue to go to Amnon's Pizza. As I'm leaving the car I'm assaulted by the sound of constant honking coming from a Minivan. In the van full of wife and kids is a Chasidishe driver holding a cell phone, yakking away on it, while his other hand is on the horn non-stop. The reason for him honking is an SUV letting out some people. Now, the people getting out looked to be Puerto Rican, but they definitely were not Jewish, the guy looks at the driver leaning on his horn and flips him the "Bird".

I don't know where Minivan guy was in such a rush to get to (maybe Mendelson's Pizza), but is it really worth the Chillul Hashem to honk like a maniac for the minute's difference in his schedule? These are the same guys who will also double park you in for all of alternate side (no note telling you where to find them), and G-D help you if you need to pull out during that time. It's time for all the Rabbayim in Boro Park and Flatbush to speak about decorum while driving and parking!!

Would you like some Mysogyny with your Smut,Sir?

2009-02-03T21:27:00.002-05:00

Sitting in a Doctor's office recently, I picked up a copy of Time Magazine to peruse. Practically inside the front cover is a feature called "10 Questions". That weeks subject was Hugh Hefner;Publisher of a certain famous "magazine".One of the questions asked was; "What do you feel about Proposition 8?". Do you feel it is fair to treat gays as second class citizens?" R.M. San Francisco (Proposition 8 having to do with gay marriage)Hugh answered; "I believe gay people have a right to marry. The Constitution protects against "Mob Rule". If we simply went by what is popular,black men probably wouldnt have equal rights"

Now, maybe it was a freudian slip but notice the wording "black men" as opposed to black people. Just sumptin' I noticed. What do you think?

Feel the (Bres)Love or Oy,Have I got a great Book for you

2009-01-25T19:37:00.002-05:00

Me and my daughter were having a very late night snack in Burgers Bar about 1:00 AM, when who should walk in but none other than(cue horror movie music)"The Breslover Book Guy" (Shrecklach). Now, for those non-initiated persons, there used to be one guy years ago who did it all by his lonesome. There are now 2 fellows doing this. The 1st one has some personality at least, while the new guy is much too businesslike. For those of you who don't have a substantial library at home, the easiest way to solve that problem is to sit in J2 pizza for a few days and, Voila, you will get enogh Breslov publications to fill many a shelf(for a nominal donation of course). Well, getting back to our late night story, the(all business) guy comes over and begins his spiel. First he offers me the obligatory "Official Breslov Calendar". He then offers a Hebrew sefer which neither of us found to be too tempting. So, trying to steer things in a more productive direction, I ask if he has any books in English. BIG MISTAKE. He starts to look through his pile of pamphlets and digs out 2 pieces. He puts one in front of me and one in front of my daughter. I discover that he's given her one titled "Self Confidence" (which she has a surplus of), and me he's given "Get Well Soon" which is very accurate, given my sick sense of humor. Me and the daughter burst out laughing as the "Breslover Book Guy" goes on to his next "Victim".

One very cool customer or Just another day on the river !!

2009-01-18T10:01:00.006-05:00

Gotta love the security cam video of the jet landing in Midtown. As one joke making the rounds went, "Here at US Airways we have a new route, La Guardia to the Intrepid". The man deserves Time Magazine's Person of the Year Award on personality alone! Just this morning on the news, some guy who is president of a tax processing company offered his Innaugaration tickets to "Sully" (you know, wer'e all so chummy with the man now), as his way of showing gratitude for the fine job he did. Be interesting to see if Sully takes him up on it. Well, it's a few weeks late, but Merry X-Mas to the Media for getting such a juicy story to work on....

What's in a Name? Alot it seems (In Israel)

2009-01-01T20:37:00.008-05:00

In military organizations a mission is assigned a name (Usually generated at random by a computer e.g. Operation Thunderbolt before it was changed to Operation Yonatan in Netanyahu's memory). The present air raids and eventual incursion into Hamastaan was given the moniker Cast Lead, with the explanation given that it was based on a Dreidel made of lead, being that the timing of the onset of hostilities coincided with the end of Chanuka. Now, I don't know anyone in the Israeli MOD (Ministry of Defense), but someone seems to have quite a wry sense of humor. The image of lead in the shape of mini dreidels flying into Hamastaan makes me grin in spite of the seriousness of the situation. Here's hoping that all the soldiers come home safe after "Mision Accomplished". AMEN !!

When the (Bleep) hits the fan, It's your friends that get you through

2008-12-31T07:30:00.006-05:00

Without getting into too many many details, we are dealing with an issue regarding our son's education. As we get deeper into this, the corrupt nature of our "frum" yeshiva world becomes more apparent by the day, e.g. Therapists needing to change locks on their lockers for fear of the hanhalla going after confidential info on students. (The locks being issued by the school so they can open students lockers when desired). Various people have come forward to help and/or offer encouragement (you know who you are). It's rather disappointing to see that the people who are supposedly teaching your kids right & wrong have a skewed moral compass themselves.I really hope this signifies end of days(Ikvesa Demeshicha), because if not it just means alot more of this garbage to contend with. So, thanks to all those who have helped and may G-D grant you mazel in all your endeavors.

Only in Texas, Tatele, only in Texas

2008-12-27T18:44:00.002-05:00

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which led to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

UAW 2008 & MTA 2005, A Study In Parallels

2008-12-18T23:33:00.003-05:00

For those of us that remember,December 2005 was a time of great upheaveal in NYC, as the MTA Transit Workers Union decided to go on strike at the height of the holiday and shopping season thus ensuring a dreadful time for all.This was in direct contravention of city statutes prohibiting disruption of basic city services. Involved in those discussions were wage increases and pension related issues.

Fast forward to 2008 and here we have the UAW, in worse shape even than the MTA was back in '05, trying to preserve wages as if the economy were zipping along without a care in the world. Now mind you they were being asked to achieve parity with what Toyota, Honda, Nissan etc..are paying in this country.

The hubris displayed by unions in general and these in particular just boggles the mind.It remains to see what will become of the negotiations for a bailout, but if the Big Three collapse, the unions will have played a big part in making it happen.

Slit Your Wrists, Santa or The Overcommercialization of X-Mas

2008-12-10T00:38:00.003-05:00

This past Saturday night I took my daughter to Kohl's for a shirt she needed. While there,me and the other ten (10) shoppers in the the store were bombarded with non-stop Holiday tunes played at the loudest volume possible. Now I know that this is supposed to put you in the spirit (read: spend tons of money!), but the sales associate who was cleaning up the shoe section looked like he was going to kill himself or someone else! Pity the Santa who's gotta sit through this stuff all day! Happy Hannukah and ho ho ho to y'aall. This doesn't mean that your'e excused from buying me a gift. LOL

Golly! It's the GALI GIRLS

2008-12-07T15:33:00.004-05:00

http://www.galigirls.com/galigirlsmovie.html The Roshei Yesiva and mechanchim in Lakewood and other Mekomos Hakedoshim will just love this product!!

Some Jewish Humor (Jackie Mason style)

2008-12-04T09:38:00.003-05:00

So Jackie says, you know for good Chinese food Jews will travel miles to get some, but did you ever hear of a Chinaman chaleshing (craving) after a good piece of Gefilte Fish?.......

I could go on but i dont want to get a reputation as a Joke Post (Rachmono Litzlon)!!!

No patience......

2008-12-04T00:26:00.002-05:00

What can I say, it's easier to read other people's blogs and comment than to write my own stuff, especially when your mind is like mush, like mine is these days mostly. I appreciate what it takes to do this on a daily basis more or less. Happy blogging to all, and to all a good night !!!

Gone "Tishing"

2008-11-23T08:17:00.003-05:00

This past friday night i had the pleasure of going to the tish of the Skverer Rebbe of upstate new york. Now i must admit this was not my first time, as i had gone there during my days in yeshiva in monsey. Wev'e been reading alot about how different groups (names need not be mentioned) have been going at each other's throats over territorial rights etc.. It was refreshing to see that Skver has not changed their way of doing things over all these years. There was no pushing and shoving, each person greeted with "good shabbos" and shown a place to sit if possible. The zemiros and dancing were a sight to behold. The hour or so that i spent there brought back sweet memories of a time gone by, making me wish that things could be simple again. I personally hope that Flatbush will be graced by his presence once again in the near future.

Possible uses for this item

2008-11-14T00:50:00.002-05:00

Lately I"ve been a little annoyed with some of the people in the "hood". I was thinking of introducing them to the item pictured. One can always dream........