Beggars can't be Choosers or A Sign of the Times

This Purim, business for the collectors was not what it's been in recent years. Everyone I spoke to noticed a dropoff in Tzedaka collecting activity and proceeds. The proof was in the puddng for me when I went to visit a certain Rabbi,who told me the following with a twinkle in his eye. You know, he says, every year the guys come in the stretch limos and collect by the "Big Shots" and they leave me in peace. This year, he says, all of a sudden "bin ich gevoren a gvir" (I became a rich man). The guys came upstairs singing and dancing for a few Kopeks. Nuu, whooda thunk it ???

Where has the Mentschlichkeit gone ?

This past Motzei Shabbos, I had the occasion to be in Boro Park and decided to go to Amnon's on 13th Avenue. Now, for those who haven't had the unique joy of driving thru the area lets say on a Monday morning, there's nothing like getting stuck in a traffic jam 3 blocks long on 15th Avenue, only to find out that it's being caused by Moishie double parking in front of Korns Bakery for some fresh rye bread while Chezkie decided to double park directly accross the street from him to buy his rye bread as well.

Getting back to Sat nite, I parked on the corner of 48th Street and 13th Avenue to go to Amnon's Pizza. As I'm leaving the car I'm assaulted by the sound of constant honking coming from a Minivan. In the van full of wife and kids is a Chasidishe driver holding a cell phone, yakking away on it, while his other hand is on the horn non-stop. The reason for him honking is an SUV letting out some people. Now, the people getting out looked to be Puerto Rican, but they definitely were not Jewish, the guy looks at the driver leaning on his horn and flips him the "Bird".

I don't know where Minivan guy was in such a rush to get to (maybe Mendelson's Pizza), but is it really worth the Chillul Hashem to honk like a maniac for the minute's difference in his schedule? These are the same guys who will also double park you in for all of alternate side (no note telling you where to find them), and G-D help you if you need to pull out during that time. It's time for all the Rabbayim in Boro Park and Flatbush to speak about decorum while driving and parking!!

Would you like some Mysogyny with your Smut,Sir?

Sitting in a Doctor's office recently, I picked up a copy of Time Magazine to peruse. Practically inside the front cover is a feature called "10 Questions". That weeks subject was Hugh Hefner;Publisher of a certain famous "magazine".One of the questions asked was; "What do you feel about Proposition 8?". Do you feel it is fair to treat gays as second class citizens?" R.M. San Francisco (Proposition 8 having to do with gay marriage)Hugh answered; "I believe gay people have a right to marry. The Constitution protects against "Mob Rule". If we simply went by what is popular,black men probably wouldnt have equal rights"

Now, maybe it was a freudian slip but notice the wording "black men" as opposed to black people. Just sumptin' I noticed. What do you think?

Feel the (Bres)Love or Oy,Have I got a great Book for you

Me and my daughter were having a very late night snack in Burgers Bar about 1:00 AM, when who should walk in but none other than(cue horror movie music)"The Breslover Book Guy" (Shrecklach). Now, for those non-initiated persons, there used to be one guy years ago who did it all by his lonesome. There are now 2 fellows doing this. The 1st one has some personality at least, while the new guy is much too businesslike. For those of you who don't have a substantial library at home, the easiest way to solve that problem is to sit in J2 pizza for a few days and, Voila, you will get enogh Breslov publications to fill many a shelf(for a nominal donation of course). Well, getting back to our late night story, the(all business) guy comes over and begins his spiel. First he offers me the obligatory "Official Breslov Calendar". He then offers a Hebrew sefer which neither of us found to be too tempting. So, trying to steer things in a more productive direction, I ask if he has any books in English. BIG MISTAKE. He starts to look through his pile of pamphlets and digs out 2 pieces. He puts one in front of me and one in front of my daughter. I discover that he's given her one titled "Self Confidence" (which she has a surplus of), and me he's given "Get Well Soon" which is very accurate, given my sick sense of humor. Me and the daughter burst out laughing as the "Breslover Book Guy" goes on to his next "Victim".

One very cool customer or Just another day on the river !!

Gotta love the security cam video of the jet landing in Midtown. As one joke making the rounds went, "Here at US Airways we have a new route, La Guardia to the Intrepid". The man deserves Time Magazine's Person of the Year Award on personality alone! Just this morning on the news, some guy who is president of a tax processing company offered his Innaugaration tickets to "Sully" (you know, wer'e all so chummy with the man now), as his way of showing gratitude for the fine job he did. Be interesting to see if Sully takes him up on it. Well, it's a few weeks late, but Merry X-Mas to the Media for getting such a juicy story to work on....

What's in a Name? Alot it seems (In Israel)

In military organizations a mission is assigned a name (Usually generated at random by a computer e.g. Operation Thunderbolt before it was changed to Operation Yonatan in Netanyahu's memory). The present air raids and eventual incursion into Hamastaan was given the moniker Cast Lead, with the explanation given that it was based on a Dreidel made of lead, being that the timing of the onset of hostilities coincided with the end of Chanuka. Now, I don't know anyone in the Israeli MOD (Ministry of Defense), but someone seems to have quite a wry sense of humor. The image of lead in the shape of mini dreidels flying into Hamastaan makes me grin in spite of the seriousness of the situation. Here's hoping that all the soldiers come home safe after "Mision Accomplished". AMEN !!